Bollocks to resolutions. This is the year that I am unashamedly listing all the things that I want. Who’s with me??
I want to savour the feel of my children’s weight in my arms because I know that one day, I will miss their cuddles.
I want to feel an inner peace as I trudge to their rooms at 3pm and lie awake for the rest of the night with their hand on my face as they struggle to sleep peacefully because one day I will not be the one they turn to for comfort.
I want to bottle the feeling where I need to bite something to stop myself from squeezing them too hard because I just love them too damn much.
I want to treasure every walk to school even if it is a battle to get out of the door some mornings because I know that the primary school years are short and before long, they will be meeting their friends to walk to school.
I want to freeze the look on their faces as they see me on the school pick up line and commit it to memory forever as I know they will not always be so pleased to see me.
I want to slow down and notice the details because that is where true beauty can be found.
I want to not wish away the hours spent in waiting rooms as they go to dance and swimming classes because I know that inside, their world is expanding, and their confidence is growing.
I want to not take my husband for granted because I know that he works so damn hard to make sure our little family has everything we need.
I want to cherish every moment of our days together as a family of four, sadly it doesn’t happen as often as we would like.
I want to learn to love the fact that they are letting go a little as their independence means they their confidence is growing. Even if my heart breaks a little with every step.
I want to take note and love every time they mispronounce a word such as ‘jamarmas’ knowing that these little moments will not last forever.
I want to treasure every masterpiece they create knowing their creativity is something to be encouraged. Except for the pages filled with single lines of pencil and sticky tape. That is going in the bin, simple as.
I want to take time one on one with my husband knowing that one day the nest will be empty, and we need to stay connected.
I want to appreciate the things that we have – warmth, food, and love – as not everyone is lucky enough to be able to say the same.
As with all New Year’s wishes, some will come true though others I will fail at as tiredness sets in and the best intentions to treasure every moment will disappear. Do you know what though? That’s ok.
I’m a mummy but I am also human. The most I can ever do is my best but one thing my family will know in 2020 is that they are loved, and they are treasured.
Even if I do lose my temper and am a grumpy sod on a regular basis!