Family Letters to my children

to my emotional little girl

Oh, baby girl, where to start.

I know you think I’m just being mean when I tell you ‘no’ again, the truth is that I hate it as much as you. I walk on eggshell that the next ‘no’ will induce the next tantrum tornado. They arrive from nowhere, rage for an eternity and leave just as quickly. Mummy is left with whiplash at the speed that your mood changes and a little girl sat in her lap who wants a cuddle.

I know you are just frustrated baby, and the overload of emotions making you react. And I’m sorry that I sometimes react too but the truth is that your mummy is just human. And tired….so, so tired. I do try though and will try harder.

I look back at your smug mummy last year with a two-year-old that never tantrums and want laugh at her. ‘You think you’ve skipped that stage‘ I’d tell her, ‘but in reality, you’ve just delayed the inevitable. A bit like holding back a dam, when it bursts it’s going to be big.’ And wow, big it was. I do know that it’s not your fault though baby, and I look forward to you realising it’s not our fault either.

It may feel like I am being horrible by not giving you that thing you want – an ice cream for breakfast, to dress the cat, or to make your brother leave the room – but the truth is that you need to learn that acting this way is not ok. You don’t know how much we want to give in sometimes and just take the easy road but above all else we are your mummy and daddy. That means that we’re responsible for ensuring you grow up to be a good person. That means learning lessons that seem really hard right now. Things like it’s good to share, it’s good not to hit your brother and that screaming at people is not a good way to get what you want.

It’s hard at the moment though so here are a few promises that I am going to make to you. As your mummy I promise:

  • To give you a safe place to calm down. It’s not abandoning you baby as hopefully you have noticed that we are always there with a cuddle once you do, even if it’s hard to see at the time.
  • To try not to lose my temper too. It may not always work, but I promise I will always try my best.
  • To help you figure out what happened. I know sometimes it’s hard to understand why you react the way you do so I will try my best, so we can figure it out together.
  • To do what’s best for you. I warn you though, that you will not always like it. As what is best for you is not always giving in and giving you want you want.

So, there we have it. My promises to help us whether the tantrum tornadoes together. In the meantime? Well, here’s a little poem all about us.

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14 Comments

  1. Patricia Breen says:

    Beautiful and so true. A honest portrait of the little lady. Bless you xx

    1. tippytupps says:

      Bless her. She’ll get there xx

  2. this is such a sweet post! they do have a way with being dramatic don’t they, she’ll get to about 5 and start school and her whole mood will change xx

    1. tippytupps says:

      Yep!! I think every age is both awesome and difficult in their own way!!

  3. This is a lovely post and the promises you are making are so so sweet. Although Emily is no where near tantrum age I do work in a nursery with 70 3 year olds in one room and I know how hard it is to listen to them scream and shout. You are doing the best you can do and that is all you can. She will thank you for the boundaries one day xx

    1. tippytupps says:

      That’s the only thing keeping us going. Reminding ourselves that is temporary and boundaries are good for her!!!

  4. This is lovely Vick. It’s so true. Bless her, she will be fine. The poem is gorgeous.

    1. tippytupps says:

      She will, the rest of us just need to keep our own tempers while she does!!

  5. Vicki this just made my heart melt ❤

    1. tippytupps says:

      Aww thank you. She really is a made at the moment!!

  6. It’ll get easier <3 You're doing a great job!!

    1. tippytupps says:

      Fingers crossed!!

  7. What a beautiful post. I always try my hardest to give my daughter the space she needs, and sometimes it makes em feel like such a terrible mum, but it is deffo needed!

    1. tippytupps says:

      They do have a way of making us feel guilty don’t they?!

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