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Where I am…and where am I

Confused? Yeah, me too.

It’s been a while since I’ve had a personal post and to be honest it’s because my head is full of the chaos of the world, but I don’t really know what to say. There is just so much going on at the moment that I don’t seem to be able to find the words to articulate the thoughts that are spinning around my mind.

That being said, this blog started as (and will always be used as) a digital scrapbook of our lives. At the moment, there is a very large COVID shaped hole in its story. I believe that we are currently living through history and I am trying to find the words to show what that has meant for us.

Afterall, we may all be in the same storm, but by no means are we in the same boat.

WHERE ARE WE RIGHT NOW

We’re halfway through week 15 of lockdown and during that time we have stayed in our little North Wales bubble, peeking out into the world that seems to have gone into meltdown.

Hubby is back at work full time, I am still on furlough with a threat of redundancy hanging over us and the children are off school until September. The Bear has 2 transition days next week, but to be honest that’s a whole different topic!

I won’t lie, at times it’s been an intense bubble. But it’s also been amazing to spend this amount of time with my children. It’s an opportunity we will never have again, and we are trying to use it as exactly that: an opportunity.

It’s been hard though. The novelty of mummy’s school has worn off and the things the kids enjoyed previously – like crafts – has dulled as the lines between school / work and home / fun are blurred for them. It’s been a period of high emotions and turbulent feelings as well as being a time of closeness and support.

What a strange time we’re all living through.

FINDING OUR POSITIVES

There have been moments of sunshine though, and it is those moments that I am holding on to tightly with both hands.

Last week those moments included back garden meet ups with family, outdoor play dates with friends as well as our first trip out to a National Trust property as a family. All in all it was a good week, and although there were also tears and frustrations, the highs outweighed the lows.

At the moment, I’m taking that as a win.

LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

With restrictions (finally) set to loosen in Wales next week, we will be getting a little more freedom. Not a moment too soon for my children who are desperate to see their friends and spend more time with or family, but for us adults it’s a little less black and white. The relaxation of the regulations comes with it an uncertainty that I am not sure we know how to navigate yet.

We will figure it out though.

And in the meantime, we will be sure to keep going and head towards that light at the end of the tunnel. I am hopeful that by the end of 2020, we will have figured out what our new normal will be.

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