The Little Things That No One Tells You When You Become A Mom
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Welcoming the patter of tiny feet is the most special time in your life. You are no longer a team of two and you have this new tiny human being to look after. The wave of unconditional love can be overwhelming. Here is this creature that cries, poops, eats, and seemingly never sleeps causing havoc to your once organized lives and yet you wouldn’t have it any other way. Even the most finicky and routine-led individuals find that their worlds change for the better when they have a baby.
Before you became pregnant and even during your pregnancy, the chances are that you read tonnes of baby books in a quest to answer all the questions new moms seek answers for. How can you encourage your newborn to sleep through the night? What is the best way to arrange a nursery? Why can’t you manage to breastfeed? All of these questions require different answers depending on your baby. Babies aren’t machines and don’t subscribe to the same upbringing. That is the joy of our little darlings. They are unique and special. Don’t think that you are inferior because you don’t have all of the answers. Your firstborn child will thrive if loved and nurtured. Take a look at this guide to the little things that no one tells you when you become a mom.
Routine
If you yearn for routine and thrive on structure, you can wave this lifestyle goodbye. No matter how good your intentions are, you need to welcome a more chaotic existence into your household. Gone are the days of an alarm to wake up at the same time every morning, the joys of taking long showers, and spending hours on your own personal hobbies. You now have a little cherub to account for. This tiny human being will wake up when he or she wants and there will be little routine to their screams. You will need to work out what they need – are they hungry, thirsty or in need of sleep?
The home that you have so lovingly created won’t remain a vision of minimalism. You will have to welcome the advent of toys strewn across the carpet, formula bottles adorning every shelf of the cupboards, and your TV playing tots nursery rhymes and shows rather than your latest box set binges. It can be quite overwhelming to see the structure that you have created destroyed in an instant by a small human being. However, nurturing and loving and protecting your son or daughter takes time and effort. Your pad won’t look like a showhome in the first few months of motherhood and you won’t be cooking the extravagant meals that you are renowned for. However, this doesn’t matter. Your priorities shift and you will be more laid back about the hoovering and more concerned with creating memories with your little one.
Social Life
The social butterfly status of old is now gone. Your little darling will force you to be at home a lot more. While you may have adored your days going out to the cinema with your partner and catching a few drinks with pals at the weekend, you are now a new mom. While you don’t want to be cooped up indoors all the time, your nearest and dearest will naturally gravitate away from you if they don’t have kids. This is natural. You won’t lose friendships but they will morph into new relationships.
You will find yourself talking to other young moms that you meet at playgroups and nurseries. Your social life will revolve around your baby for a little while. Dates are now in the park with fellow first time moms. Rather than chatting about what was on TV last night and the state of American politics, your discussions will revolve around the latest creche to open downtown and the best recipe for toddler meals. These will be the people that you form new and lifelong friendships with. Your kids will grow up together and you will bond over parenthood dramas and success stories. These new friendships will empower your life and give you a new support network to help you when you are struggling with the emotional ups and downs of being a mom.
Your Body
Head onto Instagram and you may assume that it takes around six weeks to shift the baby pounds and see your abs form once again. However, this is only true if you have thousands of dollars to spend on a personal trainer and you have money to burn on personalized diets. For us mere mortals, shifting the tummy fat that comes post-pregnancy can be challenging. Don’t ever put pressure on yourself to look a certain way. Becoming a new mom is a wonderful and beautiful thing in itself, and never allow anyone to tell you otherwise. The world of social media is a fallacy and heavily filtered to create the illusion of realism. It is anything but.
Don’t worry about carrying a little extra weight and never put pressure on yourself to lose it. You need to eat what you love and enjoy spending time with your newborn rather than heading to the gym. Only consider cardio or hitting the diet hard when you are good and ready.
If you look in the mirror every morning only to be confronted by the shimmering lines of stretch marks, you might wonder if your skin will ever be as smooth again. There are numerous ways of healing pregnancy stretch marks such as using a medicated cream, massaging with oil, and enjoying certain exercises to improve muscle and skin tone. A great exercise for women who have recently had a baby is yoga. This exercise is relatively gentle, can be done at your own pace, and will strengthen your core. By putting your body into different postures and learning a range of breathing exercises you can de-stress and improve the suppleness of your skin.
Mood
When you first give birth, you may assume that a cloud of enduring love should swallow you up and you should feel euphoric at becoming a mom for the first time. However, for some women, this doesn’t happen. Our hormones can wreak havoc on our emotions and we may find our first thought is to sob uncontrollably. This is normal. Sometimes this can extend to the baby blues. Women across the globe may struggle a little to bond with their baby in the first instance. It can be challenging to bond if your baby doesn’t latch on and breastfeed easily or if you are struggling to get any sleep because your newborn is crying with colic regularly.
Use your support network as a shoulder to cry on and ensure that you look after yourself. Ask your partner to take care of the baby so you can go for regular walks, read a book, or relax in the bath in an evening. You need respite to give you the breaks to help you recharge your batteries. A tired and overwrought mom isn’t going to be happy or able to parent effectively. Give your child the love he or she deserves.
Being a new mom isn’t like it is in the Hallmark movies. Being a new parent is nerve-wracking and scary. You can suffer bouts of anxiety and measure yourself against other new moms. Don’t do this and be kind to yourself. By learning as you go, not putting too much pressure on yourself, and by surrounding your little one with love, you can enjoy being a new mom and relish everything that parenthood has to throw at you.
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