Recapturing that Spark
We’ve all been there. You used to have a great connection with your partner but then kids come alone. And with it the late nights, early mornings and extreme exhaustion. With the ever increasing pile of dishes – and let’s not even mention the washing – it’s easy to get stuck in a rut of trying to keep on top of a routine but never quite managing it.
In the midst of all this chaos, it’s easy to loose track of each other. It’s never something you plan to happen. However, before you know it, you’ve gone days with little more than a ‘hi’ and ‘bye’ in between. So here it is, my top 3 tips for remaining connected in the midst of kiddie chaos.
TAKE TIME TO TALK
Yes, I know. We all talk all the time. I mean really talk without moaning. Now, that’s a little more difficult isn’t it?
If your days are like mine then there will be days where you feel like you have only just survived, and the fact that you didn’t have a trip to A&E is a bonus. My challenge to you is to take some time to think about 3 positives things about your day to tell each other. Yes, some days that may well be simply that you’re all alive, you didn’t have a breakdown and the TV didn’t break from watching frozen 16 times in one day. But, at least it’s a positive spin on it and it will (hopefully) at least raise a smile.
HAVE A DATE DAY (OR EVENING)
A date day I think is so important. A few hours quality time together to just reconnect. If you don’t have childcare then don’t worry. Just make it a date evening. When the kids are in bed, turn off your phones and just spend some time together. Watch a movie, have some supper, have a glass of wine or just sit and have a coffee together. The point is just spend a little time doing something that you both enjoy. You get bonus points if you’re actually sat next to each other, even if it’s only on the sofa.
There. I said it. You know I’m right though, as an intimate relationship undoutably makes a huge difference in how close you are. Let me be clear, this doesn’t have to mean sex. As even the little things will make a difference. Stolen kisses in the kitchen, cuddles and snuggles on the sofa and just little touches here and there go a long way.
Fellas – are you listening – women like to be touched even if you’re not going to get laid. Do you know how awful it feels when you try and push every kiss and cuddle to full sex? Especially when we’re exhausted. Get in the habit of being intimate without pushing for sex. And ladies – feel like you’re (finally) ready but don’t want to initiate? Well, why not just give a big hint instead like some gorgeous new underwear. I can guarantee he’ll pick up on the hint and do the work for you! Something like this fabulous All Over Lace Top and matching Chiffon Pleats Shorties from the Hunkemoller Doutzen Stories rang would do the trick. The added bonus being that they’re both comfortable and sexy.
Not quite ready yet? That’s fine too, just wear them for you. I don’t know about anyone else but I feel more confident when I’m dressed well and have amazing underwear on! Work on that confidence and we’ll get there, it just may take a little while.
So, those are my tips for recapturing that spark or at least working at it so it doesn’t go out. What about you? Anything to add that you do to keep that connection in a relationship when you’re exhausted by kids?
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