the beginning of the end
So this is definitely the beginning of the end of our breastfeeding journey. Henry will be 21 weeks at the weekend and he is just too hungry. After a horrendous few days last month when he was latched for 17 hours in 24 and still upset, over the past few weeks in addition to his bedtime bottle, we have been introducing bottles at the times which will become his meals: 9am, 1pm and 5pm. What I have as a result is a much happier baby, I can only assume because he’s not as hungry anymore. This has of course has had a dramatic impact on my supply to the point where he doesn’t actually feed from me any more, just nurses for comfort. Which is fine but I have a feeling that over the next week or so that too will stop as he’s during that time started to enjoy a dummy for comfort and sleeping.
Feeding his sister was a mission in the beginning and in comparison, feeding Henry has been so easy. If it wasn’t for the fact he was so hungry and the impact it was having on the entire family (the Bear starting to REALLY act out) I have no doubt that we would have continued.
I have mixed emotions about this as 5 months is good…great in fact. However, there’s a little bit of guilt that is somehow holding me back from being completely happy with the decision. Like I am giving in or putting Darcie’s needs above his somehow which is absolutely bonkers. What I have is a much happier content little boy who is more settled and is no longer hungry, so why do I feel this guilt?
I think there is so much pressure nowadays for mums to breastfeed that I’m feeling guilty over what I could have done (gone for longer, expressed more for bottles etc) rather than taking pride in what we did achieve which is 5 really good months of feeding my baby. So I hereby resolve to feel pride in what we did achieve rather than failure in what we did not. What I have is a happy little boy with a full tummy and there is no failure in that!
However, as I have now (almost) finished feeding my last baby, I look at the impact on my body and wow do these two babies have a lot to answer for. Let’s just say the term deflated balloons comes to mind….yeah; thanks kids!