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Motherhood is something often discussed, dreamed of, celebrated, and sometimes, worried about. It is perhaps one of the most principally rewarding things anyone can go through, and one of the most natural. Of course, this isn’t to denigrate those who cannot or choose not to have children. Motherhood isn’t simply limited to biological birth, after all, and there’s no reason as to why it has to define your value as a woman. But for those who wish to embark upon this process of their own free will, it can be worthwhile to know what they’re getting into.
Motherhood is not a simple process, nor is it a convenient one. Most mothers would agree with this. It’s not as if you can simply order a baby on Amazon, and they come pre-equipped with a perfect manual and a simple pill you can take to make the entire process as easy as possible. But it is something with plenty of worth, incredible teachings, and amazing surprises.
It’s those incredible surprises we wish to demonstrate today. This fun guide should help you look forward to being a mother, and also give you some gentle guidance along the way.
As a mother, you will likely find many things changing in your approach to life. Even young mothers will notice this, despite their age. When you have someone new, and a new someone that your life revolves around from now on, you needn’t worry about all the tertiary things. Why care about how many likes you get on Instagram when your baby’s laugh is much more satisfying? Why spend time with people you sap your energy in an effort to be ‘cool’ when heading to the cafe with a quality friend can help you snort while laughing, and truly enjoy your time with them? Motherhood has a crucial and vital quality to it that burns away the deadwood of your personality, and how you view the potential of everyday.
This can be a surprise for most people. For some, they might lament it in the first instance. It’s not nice to see that sometimes your friendship group can shrink, or that while others are going clubbing and taking travel opportunities you are at home with your baby. But really, what they are spending so much time chasing is what you have at home, and that’s pure love. Once you start to come around to that, you’ll understand that quality friends are better than a large quantity, and being your best self is better achieved through honesty than bravado. It’s a nice thing once you get used to it.
One unfortunate worry that many mothers have is thinking about what they will do after their child grows up. They might worry that the last ten or so years have been spent in motherhood, so what could they potentially offer in terms of employment interest, or simply adapting their skills to anything outside of the motherhood sphere? After all, not all mothers have the advantage of being a stay-at-home parent while their partner leaves to earn the full salary of the household. Some mothers simply do not want to be in this arrangement to begin, because it’s hardly something you should feel forced into.
But what these fantastic women often forget is that many cross-skills exist thanks to your efforts in motherhood. It doesn’t remove you as someone with potential in the slightest. In fact, you likely have more utility within you than you know. You can likely keep up with deadlines well, know how to keep your head in stressful situations, you likely have a communicative capacity, you are able to focus on the details of the situation and hope for the best outcome. For example, carefully assessing your baby oral health or watching their development closely counts here. And most importantly, you are likely to care about whatever task in front of you.
Those sound like very basic skills to offer, but they’re not. Also, the list we’ve just given is hardly exhaustive of the skills you’ve picked up. In fact, it’s not even 10% of the full potential you likely have. Employers will often consider this well, that is if you’re looking for a job in the first place. It might be that volunteering or being part of a team worthwhile to you, or even opening your own project is supported by these foundational abilities.
Just like the potential of shedding your dead weight for the truth of your social experience, there’s something that happens when you become a mother, and that’s feeling emotions much more deeply. Of course, sometimes detachment might be a symptom of a post-birth traumatic disorder, and so if you truly find it hard to feel, it’s important to speak to a professional. Some women might not feel completely emotionally thorough in the first place, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But most women going through the process of motherhood will often find that they are much more receptive to love and attention, but in a mature manner.
They will know the binding strength of love, and how that’s all that truly matters. They will know the comforts of a home and the importance of sticking besides those you care about. And most importantly, they will learn that living for someone they live is perhaps one of the most rewarding and important things anyone can do. While of course, choosing not to have children is an absolutely valid tendency, or other people choose to raise children through alternative means, the power of parenthood (biological or not) can often help someone become a much better version of themselves through being introduced to this power. If you’re simply only caring for yourself your entire life-long, you won’t know this as well as possible. There’s deep reserve of the human psyche that can be truly supported by these feelings of trust and support, and opening yourself up to that can make you twice the person you were, or help you stand tall in moments of doubt.
With these tips, you’ll be a little more prepared for the amazing surprises of motherhood.